How I Hugged My Anxiety to Death: Release Trapped Emotions and Reprogram Your Subconscious Mind
Learn how to achieve mental clarity and emotional balance with practical, science-backed methods
In a previous post, I explained the modern paradigm of anxiety disorder: anxiety is foremost a maladaptation of the body, not the mind. Our Ego induces an anxiety response as a distress signal for unwanted emotions in the pain body.
I disclosed that the distress I felt from publishing my work stemmed from the shame of revealing my authentic self.
I concluded that proper treatment requires healing the buried wounds that trigger the physical alarm.
As traditional psychiatry proved ineffective, I took proactive steps to explore alternative therapeutic modalities to manage my anxiety disorder effectively. I combined various methods to craft a personalized wellness program and a new way of life that I now share with you.
Here is the previous post for reference:
Liberating the Pain Body
1. Daily Meditation
Five years ago, I trained in transcendental meditation (TM) but had yet to establish a dedicated practice.
TM is a mantra-based meditation technique, whereby a practitioner closes their eyes and silently repeats an assigned mantra for 20 minutes. Ideally, TM is done twice daily, but even singular practice proved tremendously beneficial.
It invoked “thoughtless awareness” and facilitated a mind-body relationship. The more I practiced, the more comfortable I was with suspending judgment while self-soothing my discomfort.
Gradually the anticipatory fear of having to experience a feeling disappeared, greatly decreasing my body’s alarm response and the accompanying anxiety.
2. Energy Healing
I was raised in the Hindu tradition, so the physical body as a vessel for spiritual energy is a familiar concept. Hinduism teaches that the body comprises energy centers, or chakras, corresponding to an individual’s spiritual, emotional, and physical qualities. When the chakras are balanced, we experience physical vitality, emotional stability, and mental well-being.
After seeing a reiki healer, I discovered that my root chakra which governs emotional security, and solar plexus chakra which influences personal power and self-esteem were imbalanced, contributing to my unease.
Through reiki and sound bath sessions, I realigned my energy body and immediately experienced an enhanced sense of power, confidence, and control.
3. Sweat Lodge
A sweat lodge is a structure used for Native American ceremonies. Participants sit in an insulated enclosure while a guide generates tremendous heat by pouring water on a mound of hot stones. Native cultures believe that overwhelming heat exposure forces an individual to overcome the mental fixation of physical discomfort, thereby facilitating purification, healing, and spiritual renewal.
My experiences at the lodge were transcendent, albeit overwhelming. The high temperatures induced tremendous anxiety, demanding mental endurance. Since pain originates in the brain, I leveraged my meditation practice and mentally deactivated my pain receptors.
With concerted effort, I manipulated the conscious expression of pain and the accompanying discomfort. This decreased my sense of victimhood and feelings of unmanageability.
In welcoming the intensity, I identified with neither my mind nor body, simply existing as undifferentiated matter. I maintained this integrated state for days, crafting a blueprint for spiritual balance.
4. Vagus Nerve Stimulation
The vagus nerve is one of the longest nerves in the human body, extending from the brainstem down through the neck and into the abdomen. It liaises between our internal physiological state and the external world, fostering tranquility and relaxation to counteract the fight-or-flight response.
Polyvagal Theory asserts that chronic stress and trauma can damage the vagus nerve impacting vagal tone, a measure of how quickly the body returns to a state of calm after a stress response. Studies show that exercises stimulating the nerve can restore proper function by releasing trapped emotions.
Following my morning meditations, I invigorated and healed my vagus nerve through deliberate head movements and focused breathwork.
Initially, I experienced tearful moments during which I processed potent subconscious emotions.
After several sessions, there was a notable reduction in emotional distress, coinciding with a heightened sense of overall tranquility. As a result, I began offering a more measured response to previously triggering events increasing my sense of agency and personal power.
5. Somatic Exercises
Somatic exercises focus on enhancing body awareness and releasing muscle tension. Since emotions are stored indiscriminately in the body, gentle movements that engage the muscular system facilitate their release.
Every week, I participated in a yoga class that featured gentle stretches, restorative poses, and pranayama breathing techniques. The movements that included muscle contraction and release freed muscular trauma and, combined with deliberate breathwork, balanced the sympathetic and parasympathetic branches of the nervous system.
With consistent practice, the tension essentially evaporated allowing for tremendous peace.
Each session concluded with a sound bath that realigned the energy body.
6. Sound Bath
Numerous studies show that instrumental sound increases the blood-oxygen level in the amygdala and the hippocampus, crucial brain regions that support the fight-or-flight response. In addition, the ventral tegmental area, governing dopamine production and release within the reward system, is similarly activated.
Research indicates that sound healing can alleviate stress and promote happiness and tranquility through these physiological effects.
A sound bath is a type of healing therapy that involves immersing yourself in the vibrations of various instruments such as singing bowls, gongs, chimes, drums, and tuning forks. This cacoon of sound induces a relaxation state, invigorates your cells and tissues, and stabilizes your chakra system.
After each bath, I felt in harmony with the universe experiencing profound mind-body stillness.
These sessions promoted a high-energy state by preserving my chakra alignment.
The calmness deepened my mindfulness, anchoring me firmly in the present moment.
Directly engaging with my pain body decreased my irrational panic by deactivating somatic memories. My multifaceted approach enabled the beneficial outcomes of one technique to enhance the effectiveness of the others, creating a constructive feedback loop for fast results.
Yet, there was more work to be done.
The uncomfortable side effect of liberating the pain body is a sudden awareness of the warped assumptions that previously supported the faulty structure.
Simple exposure was not an automatic antidote. I had to saturate my subconscious with a more supportive story by actively replacing these limiting beliefs.
Subconscious Reprogramming
1. Affirmations
Affirmations are essentially positive phrases usually in the form of “I am” statements. Studies show that repeating affirmations stimulates increased activity in the regions of the brain associated with reward and positive valuation. The enhanced stimulation alters neural pathways, decreasing rumination and promoting optimism.
During my morning meditation, I repeated the phrase “I am always worthy of love and appreciation” to displace the unworthiness underlying my shame.
At first, my Ego rejected the new self-concept eagerly offering convincing counterarguments. As I persisted in the new narrative, its reasoning became less persuasive. Over time, my positivity overwhelmed my Ego’s cynicism eventually silencing it completely.
Repeating this simple phrase sparked profound happiness as waves of self-love and acceptance emanated from my heart chakra.
Self-loathing melted into self-acceptance as I embraced my authenticity. This expanded my energy field as I effortlessly unified with the oneness of the universe.
2. Mental Diet
Although affirmations wield significant influence, their effectiveness diminishes without a disciplined mental regimen.
To support a well-toned self-image, I fiercely monitored my mental input. I promptly responded to my Ego’s defeatist thoughts with loving self-talk invalidating the negative suggestion.
By offering an immediate response, I revealed the fallacy of the conclusion, thereby diminishing its hold.
Over time, my subconscious naturally and automatically rejected the messages, leading to their eventual disappearance.
Now, my mind entertains only the thoughts I consciously allow, finally conceding that I am the operant power of my reality.
Final Thoughts
My anxiety has decreased considerably. By engaging my pain body and changing my subconscious programming, I rewired my entire nervous system.
While it is unlikely that my anxiety will disappear completely, I now approach my situation compassionately, no longer assigning judgment when it ultimately manifests.
Contrary to my previous assumption, I’ve realized that the universe hasn’t forsaken me to face challenges alone.
Instead, it fortified me with the tools to manage and shorten my panic response. I acknowledge my resilience and capacity to confront fear regardless of the situation.
My sense of victimhood has all but vanished because I know that I am the ultimate purveyor of reality.
So are you.
Thank you for spending your valuable time with me. I am truly grateful for you, my wonderful reader.
I needed this, I will listen soon, thank you 🙏